Peacock Population

Roshan laughed as Sudama said that India is a Leader in Open Defecation.  “I cant believe it, cool man. What about any competition from any other country in the entire world.”
‘India continues to top the world in open defecation.’ ‘Industrial growth is reduced this fiscal year.’ Sudama was discussiing the two top headlines of a local newspaper as he spoke to Roshan.
“No way, rosh. Even the runner up is too far behind in the race to poo.”

Suddenly the Agra-Sialda Express rushed passed that way.  Windy smell of breakfast and train boggies made a way into their noses, as the train was pulled on a signal.  Both of them had to hide their faces from the travelling crowd.

Roshan was thinking about Mamata Banerjee‘s keen support for ex president Kalam.  “Kalam is such a nice fellow, he came to our village sudama, when he was the president.  I could not see him. But our shopkeeper said that he smiled and talked politely.”
“Now a days, Presidents dont go to villages. They make trips to foreign and english places. ”
“But their property agents buy lot of real estate for them in villages. ”
“Our land broker, Vijay Deenanath was saying he wanted to deal a property for Pratibha Patil.”
“But president kalam will not come again man. ”
“It is better. He is too good. We are bad people. ”
“Some shop keeper from Gwalior is applying for president post.  what man, only one vaccancy..”

Both were enjoying the open air that passed their ass as they pooed sitting on the side of a railway track in Mumbai.
Far away in Trivandrum, Gadhama was reading a local newspaper which captured the same news in the local language. With pressure in the belly, Gadhama was seated on a posh commode in his bungalow and with the news paper in his hand.

The news paper read….’More than 50% Indians poo outside in the open air while, Chinese, Pakistanis are far behind. Only 5 %  or less of people in these countries poo outside there houses in the open.’

Gadhama exclaimed as he felt the pressure released with a expression of relief ‘”How the hell these guys shit in the open and put my country’s name down!” 


Taken from
Sewer ,Peacocks in the Indian Railways

Dilip was looking at dubious videos of open air peacocks.  “We used to call them peacocks. Plenty of peacocks sat near the Kurla station.” Dilip remember his college days in Mumbai when he used to take a local train to reach his alma mater from Thane to Dadar. He had joined a new college for his further studies in Pune, where he was sharing his experience with newly made friends.
“what is a peacock? you mean the bird
“hey no, its not the national bird, Its a term we use in mumbai for guys who sit in the open for poo.. they stand near the rail tracks with a jug of water”
“They sit spreading like a peacock.”
“What!”, Dhanya asks.

She thought of peacock as a bird, only a huge bird which spreads its feather tail can be a peacock.  But why human peacocks  go out in the morning to poo in the open.  Cant they poo in the toilets in their homes.
 “Oh my God! I used to see those guys standing in gentle meditation. We see them next to railway stations, when the trains get closer they stand up. When i went to see the Taj Mahal, I used to look at the royal toilet. How did the kings managed to poo.”
Dhanya was working in IT giant PCS, she was on bench for almost one year. Then she quit and went to Dubai with her husband.  Last month , both of them planned to visit Agra for sight seeing.  

Harpal Singh was a curator at Ram Leela Palace, he wondered, “You are so right. Oye , do the Kings become peacock in the morning in those days.” 
“Man, may be they become tigers in the bed at night. but not so sure about peacock ” says his friend Manish.
“Even the recession is not affecting our poo production. But Industrial output is going down, man.  I wanted to ask Montech Singh about this yaar, but he is not reachable now a days.” said Harpal, whose uncle was Montech.

“Today only the common man becomes a peacock in the morning. ”  Manmohan is reachable now a days.
“But Manmohan is never going to become a President.  He is better silent gentle peacock. ”

Rahul Mayur was looking at his name in the certificate.  He was listening to the Guru, from the kitchen.   He works as a cook at an ashram, run by Guru Sunil Dev.  Rahul completed his B A Economics.  He did Diploma in computers, but did not make it up in any job. He joined the  G4 Securities company as a security gaurd.
Guru Sunil Dev, was propagating the use of Mobile toilets in India.  
“Disciples, everything is mobile in this world.  One that comes has to go. One that goes comes back.”
He was talking to people about Mobile Toilets
“The biggest Mobile Toilet in the world is …?”   Silence follows his question …..  Suddenly Manish answers ,”Guru .. It should be the Sulabh Souchalaya, near our temple.. 30 -40 people can go together at a time”

But the baba kept quiet.  Sudama looked at  manish. That meant manish was wrong. He looked around in shame.  Others shouted, “You only tell Guruji.
“I will say, its our country railways. ”   “Aah …. what a knowledge ..they all said ..”
Even Sudama thought that was right… this guy is great.  Because when we villagers sit as peacocks in the morning,  the  trains have more peacocks inside.”
“But nobody sees them, …”

Later  Sudama enters Guru’s personal room. “Come sudama, sit down. How are you? How is your life? Kids…”
Sudama bows to him. “All is well, due to you”
“Guru I needed some financial help. I need some money for my kids school opening.  Lot of tensions in personal life.”
“Certainly you have my support,  who doesnt have tensions and issues in this material life.  If you taken up birth in a human body, you will be sorrounded by tempatations, expectations. These will always put you in a non ending cycle of worries. ”
“….so true. Guro …I wanted to hear you more. This life is so useless”, Sudama wanted some financial help, he was getting bored with advices.
“You have issues because you are bonded to other beings, Like your wife, kids, mother, etc… ”
A knock on the door.    “Jai ho , guruji…. My water business is becoming profitable now .. after 3 years”, Suresh Nayak comes and falls at his feet.
“All your blessings.. Guruji” 
“Everything will be alright. What goes comes back. ”
Suresh Nayak leaves after getting few minutes of Guru. 

“Look at Suresh, he was struggling with business. Now he is getting results. But this time even, he has not given me any offerings. ”
“People come and want only darshans, they dont put decent amounts in the plate. See this..”
Guru showed Sudama  a copper plate with Indian notes, there were a few hundreds and a thousands too .. plenty of coins made it heavier ..

“Even our condition is not great ….”

contd …


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