……….. some ironies in life…..hmm…….. are realities
I myself am in dilemma , its always difficult to categorize yourselves, and that is left to others, those onlookers who watch you from all pervading directions. Each event of conversation is as important as the previous one. Lots of lessons to be learnt from each of them. I might at times classify myself into no category because i might be afraid of the consequences. Sometimes our expectations are too much , beyond our reach so much so that they shatter and dwindle to nothing in front of us.
I am afraid of consequences because they always brought failures.To be associated with a failure or a no good is as good as being dead. Association may not be symbolic but straight forth. Such an association or associations demoralize the high spirits of a yearning man. Infact , a failure is that we all (including me…. sounds ironic) would like to eradicate, if possible eliminate completely from this world. Ironically i too agree that i too that.
When talking about irony,everything is irony is a right way of explaining it.
One example of an irony…
If somebody is speaking to us,when we get a ‘ego’ feeling . We may not care about other’s being overridden by the self feeling. it would be an enchanting experience for us which we would love to continue experiencing. At the most what we do is to pretend nodding or hearing. You may not always know the reactions felt by the speaker , but sometimes they feel the err but may not react at all.
The speaker who continues his conversation without losing his interest is totally fooled by us.He is unaware of the isolation which is slowly created between him and the listener. Sometime people crack their ego when they understand the folly. Others take it otherwise.
There are important questions to be answered in this regard. Some may take it too close to their heart, some hurt and yet others don’t care.
- Was the speaker a fool all by himself who continues the conversation even after finding the loss of interest in the listener?
- Suppose the listener is a n adamant person, what should the listener do?
- Is it always possible for good listeners to be ‘good listeners’ ?
- How do we differentiate the hurt and the unhurt speaker?
…………..I once told my mother,”Mom,winning is not so much of brain, but its a play
“Where do u get it from?” her anxious ironical question, i had no reply.
………. there is another incident which came to my mind…..
Somehow music is my life, it (music) sublimes my thoughts for more time than any other feeling. Of course i could not satisfy my hungry soul with music due to the fear at home……. They hate my love for arts……
So once and everytime i am hurt …….i am hurt like any other human being……. and its a feeling that i keep to myselves…. once i am hurt i keep my-selves to a cocoon … with the sensitivity of the snail’s feelers …….
I then sit quiet in my room mostly, thinking and ………… one day during the rainy season, lots of moths come out from the earth once it starts raining, a moth came to my room. The moth had lost its wings , when i was writing. The room had an old shabby table which i made of . Mostly the table will be covered with an old saree , and the few dust laden books lie around, and a table lamp will be kept lit when it got dark outside. Sometimes the evening air is moist due to rains…
during the monsoon, it was a kerosene fueled lamp which will light up my room during the nights when there wont be any power for days….
The moth flew upto the hot lamp and got burnt little by little , every time. It continues this without much hesitation and makes closer crashes with the yellow flame which flickered and swayed with the wing flaps of the moth… and a burnt smell spread once in a while.. It (moth) disappeared into the dark beyond the table after tiring itself.
The moth really never understands the loss of wings. Even after losing the wings , it crawls restlessly. Trying to reach the bulb of the flame once again. I think of doing it some help by taking it closer to the flame, but suddenly decline. Will it not be help but cruelty ?
The moth loves getting burnt by the lamp flame unto death, but how can i digest it ?
When did the moth feel hurt …….. was it hurt when i tried to move it away from the flame or when it burnt itself……………….