A beginning marks the growth of everything , anything new. Smaller than the tiniest fraction of a second, the beginning is essential to all thinking ,all growth process. All processes have a stop where nothing of it moves further.
Its like living in the exile ,when your stomach is burning then nothing remains respected .Living with no options open is like living at somebody’s mercy. Where the domination of a human being is not by his interiors , rather a suppression of it by other human beings.
Different dimensions have been assigned in the last decade for life. Doing for nothing attitude is wiped out entirely out of mind for most. Though the desire for work or action pressurises from inside, inability tumbles due to our external factors. Anybody experiencing such traumatic conditions is bound to lose confidence . He / she might even lose trust and respect for relations.
But the human force within is transcendentally strong and always springs hope eternally. The general good is achieved with much perseverance and patience. That’s why the world has many good souls who work for the common good.
I personally believe life is not an escape. But having an escape root is a must in some situations…………
But Life is not an escape route skidding you into an endless
We walked as if there are no destinations that would satisfy us , but then we never bothered about the destination as long as we were together. Sometimes a walk becomes as essential to take off my inner turmoil out. Freedom from compromises , to find a place where the road never ended as long as i had the energy to walk. Freedom to express myself without words and she would undersatnd me. Yes, where she would understand me without me having to tell her.
Was it walking that mattered or was it the time, the time that we spent together……..
It was the time of the day that was most precious.
We kept walking with no destinations in our minds….
I used to get only one off in the week and that was the Sunday. Come Sunday and I will have so much to do that I normally end up doing nothing but idling. I would be washing the piles of clothes that lay, cook up my day’s food and listen to my favorite disc in my player.
But now a days , one more schedule has been added in the day. She would call and ask me if I am free on Sundays, her call would come in the morning,”Are you free today?”she waits . I say “Not yet!”
“Any programs! Why don’t we go out together. If you don’t mind”.
She would be living with her roomy in a flat, next to the market junction. Whenever we agree for a meeting , i will normally go to her place and wait . Normally she might be ready and eagerly waiting for me at the gates.Its easy to get a taxi from there. She knew the places very well and knew exactly where the best restaurants are in town,where the sunday is best spent , where the cinema is and which language it runs the movie…Huh ,i thought of keeping quiet when the driver enquired where to go ,though i have been living here for years my world of movement was the road to my office and to the railway station. Hmmm……..
A point that came up during our meetings was regarding her respect for money.
She kept telling me “I like money more than anything, I think it’s more valuable than humans”.
“Hmm, you know why?” She will answer it after a thought, with a lot of confidence that she gathered from her experience in the past life.
And I will be wondering, why she has to think so much…Her hazel eyes reflect and shine , deep into them is the core of her thought.
Then she would continue,”because,we can trust money more than a human. If we have money, we can do anything”.
“Anything…” i replied .
As it was written in a book “Without money a man’s head is always kept down thinking ,If he is got money then his head is held high”.
We went to the dancing bowl during one of the weekends. She has been insisting that we go there one of the weekends. She liked it very much. The music played there is slow and romantic. It makes you feel lost out in the crowd.
I held her arms in my arms when we were talking . It was music all around and dim lit candles swayed to lighten up sparsely. She asked me “Are you coming ,give me your hand”.
She danced and tapped to the song played. Her energy increased as she danced. She was drenched in sweat. I was there watching her dance from a distant seat.
In between she would gesture and would ask me “Did u do this ever? Fun right”.
I knew i did it too when alone.
“This is so much fun! I can go on for all night .I feel so much energy” She exclaimed.
I watched her.
“I feel so free” she shouted and wanted me to join. I looked at her.
“Come on. Why dont you say something !” She wanted to hear me say.
In our conversations she says the most.I always listen and go on listening.She had so much to say and i loved to listen. As if my ears were hungry ………
“Tell me what do you want me to say” I asked her.
She finished and was tired…
“Say anything ! I love whatever you say”she leaned on to me. Nose to my Chest, she felt safe in my arms.
“I love you ” ,I wishpered in her ears
“How much “
“Too much “
I spread my arms wide and exclaimed ,”This much”
“I love You”
” To love somebody whom you have never seen even once …Isnt it pure love”
Why do love marriages fail compared to arranged ones ?
She asked me “Are you possessive ?”. I wondered whether i was one…how do you know that you are possessive ….
Is it good to be possessive in a Love relation?