I don’t know why this topic intrigues me so much.It’s all so important to research about. Psychology, mental illness, burnouts are topics that became food for my thoughts.Let me talk to myself and a thousand meanings are conveyed. I love myself, Infact I must say I started to love myself. Somewhere when I was very young ,when my inner self was growing up sooner than my outer body, I was never sure who I was. I would look at children play and dust around in the summer of north India. years to that scene have been added but they remain in my mind like unhealed wounds.
Nobody can be a good friend to me as I would be to me.
I make this world my world when I am there. It was this way for years. But today things have began to change. Winds of change.
Why would anybody be so much interested in his childhood , when it was a grim thing that almost bled every part of it. Recollecting it ,to understand my adolescence helps me find answers to questions that arise in our society.Why was I down with a rattling list of negatives. Might be the consequences of acquaintances that I made , were torments that i could not bear anymore.
When parents attribute their losses , grief to their spouses and children, who feel that they have not any meaning to life compared to their counterparts , it starts a psychological break up.
I perceived a different world ever since my childhood, my perception might have been so different from what might have been normal to most that it almost developed a entirely new dimension of thoughts for me.
i could imagine one day a kid came to me and said , Can you see my world through my eyes ? I perceived the verbal and non verbal abuses ever since my childhood. Then the child grows in an environment , where appreciation and encouragement have no meaning there.
I was perceiving the world from my view point as if a person can visualize things and situations from different viewpoints. and i had much to get influenced by words and letters, that they became an important part of life. I started reading the great books of the past , learning the skills of a good reader. i had spent my prime years in desolation confined to a single closed room. Then there was this urge in me to explore in me a person who dreams of seeing the outside world, and plunders the wonders of nature in its unlimited manifestation, without inhibition, like the nascent feelings of a young boy who saw the amusements of a festival just after he was freed from a long hard work. My findings of a fewer realities in the childishness of a person made me realize one thing. Which i then thought could be of much importance in life.But i will talk about it later in the day.